Final Article

Overcoming Tragedy

By: Meaghan Coombs

At a local Abington bar, Donna Cherry greets her customers with a warm smile, conversing with each of them as if they are long-time friends. A red bracelet circles her wrist with the words “Be Brian Cherry Strong.”

There are hugs and “how’ve you been’s” between Donna and the locals as she leans over the bar to chat with strangers and friends, many who are unaware of the family tragedy she experienced only six months ago.

On July 12^th 2009, Donna Cherry’s husband Brian Cherry was attacked and killed by an Abington man outside a neighborhood coffee shop. Cherry, 45, had askedMichael J. McGunigle, 49, to tame his German Sheppard as it scared the small children outside, barking and jumping at them.

After Cherry suggested he close the hatch to his truck to secure the dog, McGunigle came at him with a single punch to the side of his face. Caught completely off-guard, Cherry hit the pavement but maintained consciousness. Moments later he became incoherent and then fell unconscious. Witnesses called 911 while coffee shop employees wrote down McGunigle’s license plate information as he drove off.

Brian was taken to South Shore Hospital in Weymouth, MA, but due to severe head trauma, he was transferred to Mass General Hospital in Boston. Doctors there advised Donna and her son that Brian needed immediate surgery due to the severe bleeding and swelling in his brain. They were optimistic that he would be waking up 4-6 hours after the surgery was completed.

But Cherry never woke up. He remained in a coma for nearly a week before passing.

Six months later, Donna Cherry has found the strength to face life without her long-time partner. She said that besides friend and family support, there is only one reason she is standing tall today. “After Brian passed, I was so angry about the way his life was taken. It made me sick that he was a victim of totally uncalled for violence.”

Shortly after her husband’s death, Donna started the Brian Cherry Foundation. The foundation raises money in Brian’s memory, and donates the money to anti-violence organizations. “It gets me through the day,” said Donna. “Knowing that I can help prevent incidents like the one that has happened to my family gives me a reason to get out of bed every morning.”

So far, Donna and her son Brian Jr, 21, have helped organized a bike run to raise money for the foundation. “My dad loved his Harley,” said Brian Jr. “For the first time since my dad passed away, I could smile because so many people came out to remember my dad and support a good cause in his memory.”

Everyday, millions of people suffer from personal tragedy through death of a loved one. Often times, it ruins a person’s life, leading to depression and inability to go on after such pain and sadness. But not for women like Donna Cherry who take their pain, sadness, and anger, and turn it into something positive to help others and to help herself overcome the tragedy of her husband’s murder.

Norwell Resident Diane Corcoran has been “paying it forward” for eight years now because of personal tragedy. Her husband Jay Corcoran was aboard United Airlines flight 175 when the plane crashed during the September 11^th attacks. Less than one month later, Diane had started the Jay Corcoran Memorial Scholarship Fund in memory of the love of her life and her two children’s father.

“I wanted to teach my children that when tragedy occurs, we must take the bad and turn it into something good in order to help the kind people that were there for us during such hard times,” said Diane.

Each year, The Jay Corcoran Memorial Scholarship fund awards 4-6 students with $10,000 college scholarships. To raise money, the Corcoran family holds a yearly golf tournament. “It’s filled with a lot of love and has been a healthy, healing place for people to reminisce, share a few laughs and to help out a great cause,” said Diane.

Grief counselor Debra Rivlin explained that those who make meaning of their loss by helping others, and make a difference in memory of their loved ones experience post-traumatic growth. This is when the individual who has suffered from tragedy overcomes it by doing something positive and going on with life as they remember it. “I think of John Walsh,” says Rivlin, “who after the murder of his son wanted to help others. He began America’s Most Wanted to help find missing children and stop and punish those who perpetrated these crimes.”

Rivlin said that when a tragedy happens and one is stuck in denial and can’t find meaning, the grief-stricken individual allows the perpetrator of the crime to win because they are remembering the way their loved one died, instead of the way they lived. “These people who overcome tragedy by doing something positive in the world are also helping themselves and their healing process.” Rivlin said.

Mary Rizzo agreed. “After my son died, we started a foundation in his memory because we wanted to carry on Jonathans goodness and focus on the goodness that still is more abundant than the evil in this world,” she said.

Rizzo’s son Jonathan, 19 at the time, was carjacked and murdered by serial killer Gary Sampson on July 27^th, 2001. Jonathan was in his car, waiting for a takeout order at a Plymouth Restaurant when Sampson, dressed in business attire and clean-shaven, asked Rizzo for a ride.

“It took us four days to find Jonathan,” said Rizzo. “The murderer had no specific target. He said whoever stopped for to help him, that's who he would kill.” Jonathan was one of three that lost their lives because of Sampson’s killing spree. He attempted a fourth, but the intended victim got away.

The Jonathan Rizzo Memorial Foundation was started in 2002 after many people had sent money to the family hoping to help with the search in any way they could. At that point, the Rizzo family knew that they wanted to start something in honor of their son, who was a victim of a brutal murder because of his kind spirit.

“Friends came to us and offered to help us begin what has now become an annual event, a memorial golf tournament,” said Rizzo. The event was started to spread the kindness that Jonathan had once shown so many people.

The foundation helps families and children in need by assisting them with food, fuel, electric and medical assistance, and even funeral expenses. There are no forms or applications, just word of mouth because the Rizzo family wanted people to feel like they weren’t just a another number in the system, but that there were people that cared about them.

“Jonathan was like this everyday,” said Rizzo, “He would always be brining people home who needed help, a meal, a place to stay, a hug, or just someone to listen.” The foundation also gives to the local Salvation Army, scholarships, Dove (a center for battered and abused women and children), and provides Thanksgiving dinners for inner city families.

“We will never completely overcome the loss of Jonathan in our lives,” said Rizzo. “Yet the foundation carries on his light and spirit and because of this, I can feel Jonathan in the hugs and words of gratitude.”

Mary Rizzo does not stand alone in her attempts to help others through her son’s memory. Another member of Rizzo’s small Kingston, MA community started a health and wellness center and a scholarship foundation after their son died in a car crash on November 15^th, 2002.

Ken and Denise Brack’s son Mike Brack was only 19 when he was in a vehicle with three friends who had been out drinking. The driver was speeding and lost control of the vehicle, killing Mike and another passenger.

That spring, Ken and Denise started a memorial scholarship at the high school Mike had attended, and they created a memorial soccer tournament. They called it The Michael T. Brack Memorial Scholarship.

“We decided to start this foundation to honor mike’s life, his passion for the game of soccer, and to help students pay for college-especially those who struggle a bit academically,” said Ken. The foundation gives out grants to members of the boys’ and girls’ varsity soccer teams, starting with two each, and recurring grants for those individuals who have maintained a B average.

“Starting Mike’s foundation has helped us overcome what happened to some extent because we’ve tried to continue a small, shining legacy- his passion and crazy energy for soccer and for life,” said Ken. “I think it also helps us because it gives our family a rallying point, along with close friends and people in our community, with the dynamic changing from shock and grief, to happiness and pride.”

The Brack’s did not stop their positive outlook with the foundation. Last January, Denise Brack, 46, decided to open up a Health and Wellness center, which she named Hope Floats. She had been thinking about creating a place full of comfort and peace since her son’s death when she couldn’t seem to find the right place for counseling. “After Mike’s death, all I could do to cope is attend support groups, all which took place in hospitals,” said Denise. “The environment is an important part of healing, and these groups just didn’t seem right in a place full of death and sadness.”

After talking with her husband, Denise purchased a four-bedroom colonial in their hometown of Kingston, and renovated it for 6 months until she felt it fit her vision.

Hope Floats is now a successful health and wellness center, offering grief support groups, workshops on healing, spiritual mind-body connection, wellness education, yoga, Reiki, and meditation. It is up and running thanks to the hard work of the Brack family, private donations, income from space rental, and small service fees.

“Knowing I am providing this spiritual healing place for grieving families gives me a sense of pride and helps me stay positive through the pain of Mike’s death,” Said Denise.

Because of strong people like Donna Cherry, Mary Rizzo, Diane Corcoran, and the Brack family, many individuals are being helped everyday, and given hope that they too can overcome tragedy and turn it into something positive.

Grief Councilor Debra Rivlin said she often quotes Helen Keller, who once said “What we once enjoyed and deeply loved, we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” But it is what one makes of that love inside of us, she explained. “One can sit and dwell on what has happened and live in the sadness, or they can live in their loved ones memory, turn it into goodness, and over come tragedy.”